Have you ever seen the movie Fried Green Tomatoes? I saw it once when I was young, probably around 9 years old. It's haunted me ever since. I won't spoil any plot points (mostly because it's all sort of fuzzy now) but don't even think of watching this movie if you don't have a full box of tissues and access to a puppy to cheer you up after watching.
Actual fried green tomatoes are much less sad. In fact, I would go so far as to call them joyful. At least that's how I felt as I was eating 7 of them. The secret is double battering the slices in a cornmeal-flour mixture. And hot sauce-laced buttermilk never hurt. Let's get to it.