Easiest Damn Lemon Meringue Pie

Pardon my French, y'all.  But it really is the easiest doggone lemon meringue pie.

Last night we had Sybil (my grandmother), my Aunt Mandy, and cousin James over for dinner.  We had shrimp creole, cole slaw, peas, and crusty buttered bread.

Lawd, it was good.  Dessert was the easiest damn lemon meringue pie.

One of the reasons it was easy was I didn't make the crust.  It was the Keebler graham cracker crust, and it did the trick.

First things first, you'll need:

• 3 eggs, separated
• 1 (14 oz) can sweetened condensed milk
• 1/2 cup lemon juice
• 1 tsp lemon zest
• 1/2 tsp vanilla
• 1/4 tsp cream of tartar
• 1/3 cup sugar
• graham cracker crust

Preheat your oven to 325º.  Then, go ahead and separate the eggs.  The yolk will be in the filling, and the whites are the base of the meringue.

Yokels.

Egg whites.  Pronounced "h-whites."

Beat the yolks together until they've combined themselves into one massive yolk.

A powerful force.

Then, stir in the sweetened condensed milk, lemon juice, and lemon zest.

I used a combination of fresh and bottled lemon juice.  It's always nice to have a little fresh flava in there.  I'll also use any excuse to use my lemon juicer.

The mixture will thicken up once you give it a few good stirs.  Pour it in the pie shell and bake for 30 minutes.

While the pie is baking, let's get started on the meringue.  In a large bowl, beat the egg whites, vanilla, and cream of tartar on medium speed.  This is the perfect job for a stand mixer, but a hand mixer works just as well.  And, well, you can beat them by hand, but we do live in the 21st century, no?

Yeah, it looks a little...suspicious. No worries, with a little time it'll look spectacular.

Okay, so I took a little liberty with the definition of "soft peak." I was in a bit of a time crunch.  Ideally, I would've waited for it to be a little less foamy and the peak a little less floppy.

By the way, the peak is the little crest that forms when you pull the mixer attachment or beater out of the egg white mixture.

At this point, start adding the sugar gradually.  You don't want to dump it in all at once because meringue is a glorious, airy substance, and dumping would defeat the purpose.

Beat the meringue until you get stiff peaks.

THAT is a stiff peak.  Yes, caps and italics.  Oooooo Lawd, look how angelic that is!

Take the pie out of the oven and increase the temperature to 350º.  Spread the meringue on the hot pie, making sure not to deflate the good stuff.  Spread it all the way to the edge to seal the pie, and pop it in the oven for another 15 minutes or until golden brown.

Resist the urge to stick your face into the pie.  If you're serving it to other people that is.  What you do on your own time is your business.

Cool it on a wire rack for an hour and then in the fridge for 3 hours.

Try not to eat the screen.  Sorry, talking to myself again.

Delicious food, good company, and hilarious conversation should always be capped off with a good dessert.  This pie was tart in the way that only lemon can provide sometimes, and it complemented the sweet crust and fluffy meringue.

Easiest Damn Lemon Meringue Pie (serves 8)
courtesy of the Keebler Elves

Ingredients
3 eggs, separated
1 (14 oz) can sweetened condensed milk
1/2 cup lemon juice
1 tsp lemon zest
Keebler graham cracker crust
1/2 tsp vanilla
1/4 tsp cream of tartar
1/3 cup sugar

• In a medium bowl, beat the egg yolks until combined.  Stir in the condensed milk, lemon juice, and lemon zest.
• Spread lemon mixture in the crust.  Bake at 325º for 30 minutes.
• While the pie bakes, beat egg whites, vanilla, and cream of tartar in a large bowl on medium speed until soft peaks form.
• Gradually add the sugar while beating on high.  Beat until stiff peaks form.
• Increase oven temperature to 350º.  Spread meringue over hot pie to the edge of the crust to seal it.  Bake for 15 minutes or until golden brown. 
• Cool on a wire rack for 1 hour, then in the refrigerator for at least 3 hours.